Because we need a laugh

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Prairie Waif2
Posts: 1896
Joined: Thu Jul 16, 2020 11:33 am
Location: Brandon, Manitoba CANADA

Because we need a laugh

Post by Prairie Waif2 »

Found this on one of my doggo Facebook Groups

I stole this and laughed til I cried.. #17 is me. Oops! I don't mean too!

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
Hope has a good imagination.
LogicsHere
Posts: 3126
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 9:49 am

Re: Because we need a laugh

Post by LogicsHere »

Love this!!!!!!
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MackerelCat
Posts: 7257
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:44 pm

Re: Because we need a laugh

Post by MackerelCat »

This made me laugh out loud. #12 and 13 are totally me.
Mackie
clemencia2us
Posts: 11445
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:21 am

Re: Because we need a laugh

Post by clemencia2us »

The first one alone was hilarious! :D
floridacatlover
Posts: 8056
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 7:21 am

Re: Because we need a laugh

Post by floridacatlover »

This made me laugh out loud, too.

Numbers 3 and 5 are now me. And I used to be such a night owl.

Thanks for posting this, MJ.
HappyDaze
Posts: 4186
Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2019 11:11 am

Re: Because we need a laugh

Post by HappyDaze »

Yesssss...dogs are looking at me funny, wondering what I'm laughing at!
"All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. After all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog."

Charles M. Schultz
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