You wrote: Was disappointed somewhat as my mother took only about 2 bites of everything . . . still in rebellious stage
Yes! That's how My MamaDear was and is! Not so much REBELLIOUS but to TELL me she IS STILL IN CONTROL! After all these years, she refuses to eat, if I am around/near!
You wrote: her very vocal racial slurs. This is a side I never saw of my mother
Well, you never saw it because it was NEVER THERE! From "facility" experience ~ "residents" emulated each other! Yep! They do copy each other ~ it's not her fault!
You wote: The nurse gave me a few things to think about to give a try . . . she said that outside of the effect of the antidepressant she's on and distracting her when she gets into these moods, there isn't much anything else that can be done
How about taking your Mother OFF everything except vital medications, memory medications (that I hope she is taking) ~ giving her "system" time to get out the "negatives"; i.e. any mental/emotional stuff!
You wrote: Signed up to join her for the Thanksgiving meal today . . . not that I expect she's going to eat anything.
Yes~! I did that for the FIRST 4 years or more! NOT UNpleasant, but "we" really couldn't eat, 'cause MyMamaDear would not eat at all ~ UNLESS, I left the table! No joke!
You wrote: Was thinking if I brought in two color by number kits, she might work on one set along with me.
Do NOT count on it! Anything enjoyable, is put aside and out of the way ~ if I'm around! I cramp My MamaDear's style! So since I've discovered THIS, she has enjoyed parties, Easter Egg hunts with a nearby nursery school, Halloween parades, anything that involves OTHERS and her ~ I can't enjoy, 'cause she'll want and demand OUT of the pleasant experience! If I'm not there ~ her world is perfect!
All I can write is: Follow her lead ~ put yourself on a back burner! Let her be the BOSS!
BUT, My MamaDear is in BLISS, when it is just My Honey and Me and she gives us her full attention! MOST TIMES THOUGH, since My Honey is with me ~ she ignores me completely! When he is off to get her a sweater (or whatever) and I'm the only one there ~ she wants: Love, Hugs and Kisses!! ~ So I know she knows, regardless, I'm always THERE, no matter how many times she ignores me ~ her heart does NOT!