Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

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frugalmom
Posts: 1178
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 10:52 pm

Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by frugalmom » Tue Dec 01, 2015 2:23 am

Post deleted after thinking it over. See...I listen to your advice! You are right,not worth it!
Last edited by frugalmom on Thu Dec 03, 2015 2:15 pm, edited 3 times in total.

icfrugal1
Posts: 2371
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 12:54 am

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by icfrugal1 » Tue Dec 01, 2015 2:48 am

Since you and I think alike, you are right, and you SLEEP at night, not worrying about paying your bills.

You have thought about your life and where you want to be.

Your son makes $120,000???? WOW and he got there without a designer education??? WOW!!!

Where your son lives can he live on $120,000????

Believe me DH and I never earned that much, I am so glad that we are retired with no debt.

We live in a nice neiborhood, I love my house, and it is paid for, of course, we bought it 29 years ago.

Everyone lives their own life, is your sister happy or worried???

I'll bet that you and I think alike, I love what I have and don't worry about others. I have a friend, who is always comparing herself to others and is upset that she doesn't "measure up" that is according to her, she has much unhappiness :-(

IC

PS great question.

frugalmom
Posts: 1178
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 10:52 pm

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by frugalmom » Tue Dec 01, 2015 3:40 am

icfrugal1 wrote:Since you and I think alike, you are right, and you SLEEP at night, not worrying about paying your bills.

You have thought about your life and where you want to be.

Your son makes $120,000???? WOW and he got there without a designer education??? WOW!!!

Where your son lives can he live on $120,000????

Believe me DH and I never earned that much, I am so glad that we are retired with no debt.

We live in a nice neiborhood, I love my house, and it is paid for, of course, we bought it 29 years ago.

Everyone lives their own life, is your sister happy or worried???

I'll bet that you and I think alike, I love what I have and don't worry about others. I have a friend, who is always comparing herself to others and is upset that she doesn't "measure up" that is according to her, she has much unhappiness :-(

IC

PS great question.
Lol-yes we think alike but Idk if that is wrong or right!? Yes,it is kind of disgusting how so many out here in SF make over 100k very easily which has taken over the city. It kind of is crowding the "poor" people(well those under 100k is considered poor out here I guess). It is so crowded and you have a the restaurants,glitz,etc-it realy is for the young tech crowd out here with their special buses even. I mean rooms rent out for thousands of dollars-not just apartments but rooms! I told her not to compare yourself to the Joneses out here bc it is just ridiculously expensive out here (it does NOT help that many of our cousins are doctors,engineers,computer people-so she sees this-I am much oder than they are and forged the way first so I did not have the competitiveness-lol-nothing to compete as I was already a mom and my thinking was different-they probably think I am "poor"-in fact,my mom just told my husband she feels sorry for me that her daughter has to live this poor life! He bit his tongue for the most part as I could see him-he said she has everything in the world-I gave her everything-what more could she want!? I bit my tongue as not to start WW III! LOL!

My mom is like that-on Thanksgiving my brother faced timed us and the first thing out of her mouth was your face got FAT!!! She told my 5 foot 9 inch daughter who is an athlete-you are getting fat -you need to lose weight! And as I was cooking,this little 4 feet 9 inch(size 0-2) lady/mom bends over looks at my tummy from the side as if to decide if I was pregnant (I am thinking this must be what she was thinking from that angle)or something or getting fat I am sure-I was thinking OH don't go there!She kept mum at least for me!!! LOL! She went to my other daughter and my daughter just went ahead and said it,"Oh I know Grandma... I am getting fat!"

Idk if my sister is unhappy. I just assumed she was happy but I know she is stressed,but a lot I think she takes on a lot on herself. I would be worried if I had that kind of mortgage,I would not be able to sleep knowing I owe so much! I don't like the feeling of being beholden to anyone or anything so even if it is a little money compared to her amount I would not feel good about it and it would worry me.Quite frankly,she has made a lot of bad decisions in life that has affected her life course. Started out with a 75k wedding the first time,divorced 7-9 months later and she asked if she should stay or not. I told her she was beautiful,smart,young and no kids yet,get out now. She was married to a total loser(cheater,gambler,embezzler,etc-in fact he is divorcing the woman now after 4 kids and she had fifth one before marriage with another man-my sister used to be upset how can this guy go with an older uneducated woman with a kid already and my sister was much younger,prettier,smarter,had a good job and education,etc -it was a total blow to her self esteem. So she listened to me and I told her someone will come along and appreciate the good person you really are. I have my opinions on her current dh(only bc I don't like how he puts down my son all the time-I think it stems from the fact,he bet my son when he was younger that he would marry his auntie and my son laughed and he shook my son's hand and bet 1000.00,my son did not think anything about it and thought he was just joking around. Well. now he bugs my son for that money all the time apparently and my son would laugh about it but the guy is serious which is weird,so I think he is mad about that),BUT despite what I think of him,HE is a GOOD father to their little girls.

So he is good in that way and he tolerates my sister who can be a bit much(type A-perfectionist) at times-lol-he is a bit more easy going than her at least. She can be very critical if you are "dumb"/inept or don't know what you are doing(like a long line was forming behind us at Starbuck's and my sister just berated the barista for not knowing how to ring her up or do this special coffee and she can make you feel pretty small if she wants to(and this was the girl's like first few days so she was still learning)!!! I told her to lay off the girl,it is no big deal,they all have to learn and I thanked the girl kindly-lol-trying to diffuse it!

I hope the marriage works out this time around at least for the sake of the kids (kids are very nice kids-not spoiled or bratty so far-but she is putting them in distinguished upper crust schools so it will be interesting to see how they turn out if they are influenced by peers but I think they will try not to spoil their kids which is a good thing.

blondeinbuffalo
Posts: 939
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 5:37 am

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by blondeinbuffalo » Tue Dec 01, 2015 5:35 am

In buffalo ny 100,000 is considered a good salary and the cost of living is relatively low, esp housing. someone can be rich, if they are happy and content with who they are and where they are in life.

to me and dh it is more important right now to be comfortable, debt free and neither of us compare ourselves to others in similar circumstances. stating you are poor is a mindset. We have been tight on cash, but poor takes it to another level as this is a comparison to how others are doing in relation to you. (not you, your sister).

to be rich in love is important, to me. money comes and goes. that is why I like this forum so much as we don't worry about how things look, we just want to live a nice life and hopefully be debt free.

happy holidays! cj

RecoveringDreamer
Posts: 346
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:00 pm

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by RecoveringDreamer » Tue Dec 01, 2015 8:34 am

Eh, I have weird views on wealth. Personally, I have no desire to be "rich". I've been very, very poor before, and I prefer to be secure. However, I've found that we do pretty decent on $28-30k, so the most I'd want to make combined would be around $50k (may happen if I get a job I'm considering).

I think mindset has everything to do with it. It sounds like your sister has to have nice things to be happy. I don't know anything about her personal life, but for me, I've found that having a good partner and a decent house (that was half of what I could have afforded and most would consider cheap, but it is a good house for us and a step up from our apartments) is really all I truly want. So I have those two things that mean the world to me, and from here, DH and I do a lot of fun things for free: gallery hops, free concerts at the local theaters, Shakespeare in the park, hiking, long walks.

So I'd say, the person without debt, with everything they really want (and not what they are trying to get to impress people), with a family they get along with, that's the rich person. Anyone can earn more money, but not everyone finds a good partner or finds contentment in being alive.
A Life Beyond Money
Self Sufficiency. Simple Living. Frugality.

www.alifebeyondmoney.blogspot.com

clemencia2us
Posts: 4140
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:21 am

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by clemencia2us » Tue Dec 01, 2015 10:06 am

well, of course you are better off.

But it doesn't matter because that is not their goal. Is it to impress their circle of friends, acquaintances?

Following cultural "norms"? We have those in the Mexican society. Just watch the telenovelas! LOL

I had this one Asian female Lt. once complain to us about her family. She was getting married and her family was very competitive with other relatives. She said her mother wanted her to make sure she had better things than auntie so and so, or cousin XYZ. It was nuts.

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