Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

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MackerelCat
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Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:44 pm

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by MackerelCat »

Ellen Marie, your family could keep Dr. Phil busy 24/7. I'm always in awe at how kind, sensible, hard-working and normal you are compared to them.
Mackie
frugalmom
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Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 10:52 pm

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by frugalmom »

clemencia2us wrote:well, of course you are better off.

But it doesn't matter because that is not their goal. Is it to impress their circle of friends, acquaintances?

Following cultural "norms"? We have those in the Mexican society. Just watch the telenovelas! LOL

I had this one Asian female Lt. once complain to us about her family. She was getting married and her family was very competitive with other relatives. She said her mother wanted her to make sure she had better things than auntie so and so, or cousin XYZ. It was nuts.
Lol-YES those novellas are addictive. My daughter has me hooked on one something like Jane is a Virgin? And it has an outlandish story and that it is sooo bad in storyline that is ends up being soooo good! LOl-hard to explain and normally I don;t watch that kind of stuff. I have watched a few episodes. The probem is I get interested in series in the beginning and then if I skip a few it is like I don't bother catching up anymore-Quantico is another one I fell behind on! Yeah, maybe it is an Asian thing-my mom and her sisters try to outdo each other-lol-unfortunately my mom has US I am sure she is thinking! Unless you are a doctor basically or you are at least married to one,you are a failure! And her younger sister has two sons who are BOTH doctors and one is even married to another doctor-she hit the jackpot! Well,now that one is getting divorced from the doctor and my mom asks her how come you did not tel me and everyone else knew-lol!?
shopper113
Posts: 46
Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:03 am

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by shopper113 »

Does it make any difference who "really" has the money? We all make different choices and have different expectations and values. I can say, you know way more about your sister's finances and the real cost of things than I know about my siblings or they about mine.

My sister went for a very inexpensive home/condo--she bought at the bottom of the market. That in and of itself has some downsides, but she is happy with her home. I bought a house far less expensive than I could have got a loan for, at the time, but big and in a "good" neighborhood..but yes, I have a mortgage and I think my sister wrote a check for her place... I personally don't care either way... we each have our own lives and might as well live them as we prefer!


The Luxury Bus company went broke, I think...

http://arstechnica.com/business/2015/09 ... -vehicles/
frugalmom
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Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 10:52 pm

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by frugalmom »

MackerelCat wrote:Ellen Marie, your family could keep Dr. Phil busy 24/7. I'm always in awe at how kind, sensible, hard-working and normal you are compared to them.

Lol! I guess we could keep Dr.Phil busy-he probably would get a headache and give up on US! The worst thing is some say I married someone like MY mother-oh vey! My siblings laugh at me-we all point to each other,no you act like mom!

THEN I read the rest of our sentence-had stopped at Dr. Phil-lol! Awww thank you,Idk how normal I really am bc I always feel like I am different than people around me-I am trying to decide if I am the weird one or they are-lol! One good thing is the people I do hang around with(first it is family most of the time) are just as down to earth and working to make ends meet,they are hard workers and pull yourself up by their bootstrap type of people(and the ones who think like me). We do good things for the kids in our school and community too and we fight for justice and safety of our kids and the teachers-sometimes we get wrapped up so much in helping the school,the community,etc that our husbands want us at home tending to them and to the kids-they don't like it we are away doing other things and are so busy-so we have to juggle all that!

But the people around here can be cutthroats-esp in sports! I have never experienced that before until my girl's volleyball team and it is disheartening! I don't talk badly about people normally-not my style-I do tell you all about stuff going on bc it is still kind of anonymous. But my way of life is (and I also teach this to my kids) is to never say anything bad about someone to another person bc first,it may get around and if someone talks badly to you about someone you know they will talk about you so better not to say anything. Since I don't tell others about things like I tell you all,it allows me to vent-even though my friends don't know my family,I don't tell them about my family(just sometimes about dh as I vent sometimes about him-lol-bc that girl's hubby is just like a younger mini-me of my husband and she is a younger mini-me of ME!). You all know I am weird anyway-lol-you have known me too long! Lol!

But as I was saying,the volleyball team moms are talking about the kids and each other that I stay away and don't get involved and sit in the lower bleachers and they always ask me why don't I sit with them. I tell them I hate to climb up the bleachers since I have back and knee pain from my injuries which is my excuse. I don't like them talking about people and feel uncomfortable so I figure they must talk about others I am sure they talk about me but I don't care! They will smile to your face still.

Their daughters are actually known as "the mean girls",not only on the team but in their club season someone else was talking about them and I asked who was on their team and they named those girls! I did not say anything.BUT what made me upset is those girls were kissing the coach's butt,YET turned around and got her fired! She play slaps them in fun,but they made a big deal out of it like she was abusing them and when I went to visit another teacher at her school(she teaches the handicapped at another school and coaches for the high school),she was let go from there bc as a teacher she cannot abuse kids so she lost her whole career just bc these girls did not like her or want her as a coach(and her parents did not think she was a good coach as well and tried to get rid of her before as well). It made me sick that these girls made someone lose their entire career and means of support for their family just bc they did not want her as a coach so they exaggerated their claims!And they don't even feel bad about it or their moms! My dd stays away from the mean girls but has to play as a team-they ostracize her anyway and tell her she is too nice a person,they don't set her on purpose so she loses confidence. She is not popular like them,she is the only one from a different school,she is studious and one of the top at her school and fairly popular at her own school(academic school so most of them are studious anyway),she doesn't twerk on the bus or at the games or dance wildly,she s more reserved and a bit shy with that. We have one more year with them,she even went to a different club even though their club's coach wanted my daughter but she went for the other cub which is more expensive but she was one of the best and they brought out her best bc they tell her she is the best there so you could tell she shines there(their boys went to the Olympics -not yet with girls-and he is a Stanford coach but the main thing is she is not with girls who are mean and these girls here have always been nice so far and they are like my girl-hopefully this season which just started will be the same). BUT I just felt awful about our high school coach-how kids could bring someone's career to an end just like that!
SandiSAHM
Posts: 2263
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:46 am
Location: Oklahoma

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by SandiSAHM »

My initial thoughts are

1. Why do you associate with people who would put down you, your choices, and your son's success? At the end of the day, no one needs the headache, do they? I don't even care if they're family, with friends like those you don't need enemies.

2. Why let someone else's choices rock your boat? You're happy with your life, right? Why question that?

I know some "rich" people. Some only pretend, some actually are. The wealthiest guy I know (100s of millions) drives a beater and lives in a house, very nice house but still, a house 1/10 the value, probably less, of what he can afford to buy outright. He's never had a mortgage and I've never seen him (known him since 1990) in less than 3000 sq ft. When we worked together he packed his lunches and for Friday evening group outings after work he used to call around from his office to see which bar in town had the best happy hour special price per ounce of beer. I have no doubt that people probably tell him he can "do better" than his beater and his house, but I also know he doesn't care what those people think. My favorite saying of his is, "I already have more than I need."

Letting anyone else in your head? It's the path to dissatisfaction.
SandiSAHM
Posts: 2263
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:46 am
Location: Oklahoma

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by SandiSAHM »

RecoveringDreamer wrote: It sounds like your sister has to have nice things to be happy.
"Nice" things that she's in debt over, evidently, LOL.

How nice can something be in relation to what it costs you?
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