Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

This is the front porch of our forum. Pull up a chair, and talk about whatever's on your mind.
colonialgirl
Posts: 1502
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 2:01 am
Location: Central Illinois

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by colonialgirl » Wed Dec 02, 2015 3:17 pm

Sandi is exactly on point Ellen. If your family member is unkind enough to say these kinds of things, those speaking obviously don't care about your feelings. And it is obviously impacting you because you are on here seeking validation for your choices and life style, which of course you will get because we are like minded people.

Quite frankly, your sister sounds like an idiot and I suspect that her profligate spending will overtake her substantial income eventually. But there is no reason to put up with her actions and attitude toward you. Not that you asked, but the nature of the story requires me to say, I would limit my interactions with her as much as possible.

I know you are a frugal person who is happy with their choices. Only you can let others take that from you.

icfrugal1
Posts: 2355
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 12:54 am

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by icfrugal1 » Wed Dec 02, 2015 3:44 pm

SandiSAHM wrote:My initial thoughts are

1. Why do you associate with people who would put down you, your choices, and your son's success? At the end of the day, no one needs the headache, do they? I don't even care if they're family, with friends like those you don't need enemies.

2. Why let someone else's choices rock your boat? You're happy with your life, right? Why question that?

I know some "rich" people. Some only pretend, some actually are. The wealthiest guy I know (100s of millions) drives a beater and lives in a house, very nice house but still, a house 1/10 the value, probably less, of what he can afford to buy outright. He's never had a mortgage and I've never seen him (known him since 1990) in less than 3000 sq ft. When we worked together he packed his lunches and for Friday evening group outings after work he used to call around from his office to see which bar in town had the best happy hour special price per ounce of beer. I have no doubt that people probably tell him he can "do better" than his beater and his house, but I also know he doesn't care what those people think. My favorite saying of his is, "I already have more than I need."

Letting anyone else in your head? It's the path to dissatisfaction.
You have said it best Thank You!!!! I wish that I could get my friend to understand this, I doubt if the people that she thinks "judge her" do. One of my frustrations with her over the past few decades is that she refuses to work, she did stay home with her 4 kids, but the youngest is 29!!!!! She believes that the man works outside the home and not the women.

Their house is paid for, for heavens sake, She did want to take money out of the house but the bank said no.

IC

SandiSAHM
Posts: 1034
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:46 am
Location: Oklahoma

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by SandiSAHM » Wed Dec 02, 2015 5:19 pm

icfrugal1 wrote: One of my frustrations with her over the past few decades is that she refuses to work, she did stay home with her 4 kids, but the youngest is 29!!!!! She believes that the man works outside the home and not the women.
I haven't worked for income since Dec 31, 2005. Wow I feel old, LOL. My youngest will be 11 this week.

DH and I talk sometimes about what will happen "after" - after the kids are up and gone. Having had my children in my late 30s, I won't be a spring chicken. He says "you're retired, you won't have to work," but I think I may want to. Problem is that my last line of work dried up, pretty much, in the US, and the only other thing I've ever done has changed so much I think I'm obsolete. And I KNOW my education (IT from the 80s before it was called IT) is obsolete.

I may pick a college my kids go to and do something menial if there's a lower tuition benefit involved. If I'm not too decrepit to scrub floors by then ;)

When I quit working my friends were shocked. Told me they thought I was a feminist. I had to educate them re the meaning of the word and remind them that my choice to stay home then was no less valuable than my choice, before, of working and kicking hiney in fields that were traditionally male (OEM auto components and later industrial equipment).

But I feel for EllenMarie. It must be hard to endure the nonsense she's hearing if you're not naturally snarky, and she's too sweet to be snarky.

I guess she could always just agree - Oh, you're so RIGHT, I'm a total failure and so are my husband and all my children. I'm not in debt! (insert crying here) What was I thinking paying off all my debts?!? I'm going to go house and mortgage shopping RIGHT NOW! Thank you for your guidance, bye!

I could do that, LOL, but I'm not sure she could pull it off and play it serious. :lol:

RecoveringDreamer
Posts: 346
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:00 pm

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by RecoveringDreamer » Wed Dec 02, 2015 9:04 pm

That's always been my view. I would rather have "less nice" things and be secure than nicer things and worried all the time (Although I'm a worrier by nature, so I'm not sure that is the proper way to word it. Maybe, just worry less).
A Life Beyond Money
Self Sufficiency. Simple Living. Frugality.

www.alifebeyondmoney.blogspot.com

icfrugal1
Posts: 2355
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 12:54 am

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by icfrugal1 » Thu Dec 03, 2015 2:19 am

SandiSAHM wrote:
icfrugal1 wrote: One of my frustrations with her over the past few decades is that she refuses to work, she did stay home with her 4 kids, but the youngest is 29!!!!! She believes that the man works outside the home and not the women.
I haven't worked for income since Dec 31, 2005. Wow I feel old, LOL. My youngest will be 11 this week.

DH and I talk sometimes about what will happen "after" - after the kids are up and gone. Having had my children in my late 30s, I won't be a spring chicken. He says "you're retired, you won't have to work," but I think I may want to. Problem is that my last line of work dried up, pretty much, in the US, and the only other thing I've ever done has changed so much I think I'm obsolete. And I KNOW my education (IT from the 80s before it was called IT) is obsolete.

I may pick a college my kids go to and do something menial if there's a lower tuition benefit involved. If I'm not too decrepit to scrub floors by then ;)

When I quit working my friends were shocked. Told me they thought I was a feminist. I had to educate them re the meaning of the word and remind them that my choice to stay home then was no less valuable than my choice, before, of working and kicking hiney in fields that were traditionally male (OEM auto components and later industrial equipment).

But I feel for EllenMarie. It must be hard to endure the nonsense she's hearing if you're not naturally snarky, and she's too sweet to be snarky.

I guess she could always just agree - Oh, you're so RIGHT, I'm a total failure and so are my husband and all my children. I'm not in debt! (insert crying here) What was I thinking paying off all my debts?!? I'm going to go house and mortgage shopping RIGHT NOW! Thank you for your guidance, bye!

I could do that, LOL, but I'm not sure she could pull it off and play it serious. :lol:
I sure hope that no one thought that I meant that people who stay home are not working, I respect that my friend stayed with her kids, took care of the kids, house etc, but there was a time about 15 years ago when her husband was laid off and he BEGGED her to go to work and help out until he found another job she refused.

He has always worked but like many of us never earned again what he once did.

I have worked from the time I was 18, I worked with my DH for 25 plus years, when the business closed, I was able to find a job before my DH, I believe that in a marriage/partnership that you should work together.

What bugs me about my friend is that she looks at what she has and what her siblings have, but she won't do anything to help herself out.

IC

LogicsHere
Posts: 479
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 9:49 am

Re: Which one do you think is the one that really has the money?

Post by LogicsHere » Thu Dec 03, 2015 6:14 am

I may not be able to answer your question without seriously re-reading and re-reading what you wrote; however, I can't picture anyone earning $400K a year; $150,000 to $200,000 maybe, but not $400K.

My starting salary was $2,340 annually and for the last 7-8 years I've lived off of an annual salary between $50 and $60,000 in NY Metro. I unfortunately can't relate.

Post Reply