When your friend is scared.

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Dgflorida
Posts: 4381
Joined: Wed Oct 07, 2015 8:10 pm

When your friend is scared.

Post by Dgflorida »

I have a friend who took the recent election emotionally poorly. She express fears about things happening that seemed a bit outside of reality. She had expressed fears before the election that were a bit extreme, such as being sure that her neighbors were trying to poison her cats. While these things do happen, fretting over them doesn't seem productive. Over and over again, I and others have suggested she move if she is that unhappy. But this election seemed to make her come unglued. She believes they will sell off the national parks. She believe that they will take away the 1st amendment. That the news is controlled by the Russian mafia. The list of her fears are endless and getting more extreme. You may have a friend who believes the world will end with this election. What have you done to help them cope?

dlrcpa
Posts: 1546
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 8:45 am

Re: When your friend is scared.

Post by dlrcpa »

What is her physical condition? I ask because many of the things I have decided to take action on for myself involve some level of physical activity and therefore fitness.

If there is a strong community association around I would suggest getting involved with them. Being connected to groups that can contribute toward the common good through organized effort is one way to be involved. If she is able to donate money, there are many organizations that can work towards protecting the things she is concerned about - national parks and first amendment for example.

floridacatlover
Posts: 4054
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 7:21 am

Re: When your friend is scared.

Post by floridacatlover »

Tell her to stay away from the news as much as possible. I think she should throw herself wholeheartedly into an activity of interest whether it be inward such as a craft or gardening or outward helping others. Practice kindness. Exercise.

Whether with money or time, support an environmental or wildlife organization (considering her concern over national parks). I have read that many people concerned about a free press are supporting quality journalism with paid subscriptions. I decided not to cancel my NYT sub after all since they have such great coverage of the arts. I have also read that people are raising money for social programs they believe will be gutted. Those are positive actions.

Again, as much as possible, she should not watch or read the news.

colonialgirl
Posts: 1813
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 2:01 am
Location: Central Illinois

Re: When your friend is scared.

Post by colonialgirl »

I think the very best thing you can do is not dismiss her as being unhinged. Many people, including me, are extremely upset about the future we see coming from this election. And quite frankly, the thing that pisses me off to no end is people who ask me about my concerns and then dismiss them.

The fact of the matter is I am certainly more politically active and likely much more politically aware of the realities of government and law than the people who patronizingly tell me that nothing is going to happen and that thinking so is an overreaction.

I would trying strike a chord that is supportive without being dismissive or judgmental.

clemencia2us
Posts: 5977
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:21 am

Re: When your friend is scared.

Post by clemencia2us »

I used to be one of those "just get over it" people, but now that I find myself on the other side - I realize it is just not so easy.

Just listen to her, maybe suggest some activities. I have found that getting out of the house and being around others helps a lot. Helping others helps me too.

I've tried to turn off the news, but I just can't. I "enjoy" having it on in the background.

In the last few months, I've noticed that so many people are suffering from fears and anxiety. People that I thought had so many things to make them happy, are not. Maybe people are just more comfortable with telling us how they feel.

Does she have a spouse, family around?

clemencia2us
Posts: 5977
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:21 am

Re: When your friend is scared.

Post by clemencia2us »

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/17/opini ... pe=article

12 step program article in the nytimes

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