Sister has been asking for money STILL

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colonialgirl
Posts: 1718
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 2:01 am
Location: Central Illinois

Re: Sister has been asking for money STILL

Post by colonialgirl »

Wow - sounds like that is a temporary solution - let her stay disconnected to you. I have no doubts she will be back.

I don't mean this harshly because I think you have been saintly in your conduct Logics - but she keeps coming back because it works. Please stay strong and do not give into her.

I know you try so hard to be a good daughter and a good sister and you are. But you are doing her no favors because someday there will be no one there to pull her financial chestnuts out of the fire and then what? I know because my parents did this for my sister until the day they died. The best time for her to stand on her own two feet was when she was 20. The second best time? NOW.

Bless you for the caring, giving person you are - but stop now - please stop. You have all you can handle with your mom in her final years.

BeckyO
Posts: 926
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:32 am

Re: Sister has been asking for money STILL

Post by BeckyO »

Logics,
Hold your ground "No, No, No"... Enough. You have done way too much already.Of course, you can Not give your mother's money to her or anyone else. That would make as much sense as You giving your Sister's money to your mother. Huh? After all you know how to access your sisters account. Would your sister hold still for that? LOL I doubt it. Now, help your sister to grow up, let her take care of herself Without your interferance (gifts). She is a big girl and can do IF she has the chance, which means no handouts. Tough love Set a very good example for her.. take care of yourself First.
Good luck with this very difficult job. It really is difficult to do but you can do it.

frugalmom
Posts: 1321
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 10:52 pm

Re: Sister has been asking for money STILL

Post by frugalmom »

You are going through so much,step back and take a breather-a nice calm long breath. (((HUGS to you first of all)))-we are there for you Logic! You are always one I look up to (along with others like Colonial Girl,Jackie Lou,Marcia(when she was on FL) and Clemencia,and so many more) that gave good and common sense advice. Think what would you say to others if it was the other person's problem. Follow your advice. I know you would step back and think about it,and know what to do but hard because it is family. I hate to say this but your sister sounds like a spoiled brat that has not grown up and many do this to their adult children as well and keep giving and giving or bailing them out of debt-I tell my kids you need to pull yourself up with your bootstraps and do for yourself-learn personal responsibility and don't rely on anyone bc others may not be there-I want each of them to be self sufficient so I don't have to worry about them when I am gone!

It is becoming toxic now-stop the money-you know eventually she will come back-but stick to your stance and do NOT give any more money. If she chooses not to communicate that is her choice, actually take it as it will give you a chance to breathe and not worry more and lets you relax a bit from that part (I know you still have your mom to worry about-but at least you don't have to worry about going back and forth with your sister). Better yet,don't contact her during the holidays either(saves you some money there too!). If your sister really loves you,then she will come to her senses esp if she has to rely on herself-BUT if she doesn't and holds resentment then it is on her and again her choice-don't feel bad about it at all-you have to love yourself enough first and you know you would not let anyone use you outside the family-so don't let her use you anymore. It is NOT her money yet and I hate that people already think when parents get a certain age they are already vying for what is theirs (they think-trying to grab it all or whatever they can!) and taking what they can already-it reminds me of Zorba the Greek-movie with Anthony Quinn-like vultures!

STAY STRONG and when you start feeling weak come back over here and we will straighten you out-lol!!!;) WE GOT YOUR BACK-the frugal living posse!

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