Daily Check in Oct 14, 2015

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Daily Check in Oct 14, 2015

Post by mbrudnic »

Good Morning folks,

Back in the saddle again. Well, was yesterday but went to he office. Local news outlets are now picking up the story of our Friend's wedding at the marathon.

There is nothing spectacular on tonight's to-do list. I need to plan some Christmas projects. I have a Christmas table running in progress that I can finish. I should keep that one for myself. I heard that my baby quilt made out of T-Shirts of interest to the father to be was a big hit. So that feels good.

Have a great day,

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Re: Daily Check in Oct 14, 2015

Post by LogicsHere »

Hi all.

Things busy here what with my having to close out my mom's apartment (guilt :( ). It seems that the last 6 years my life have been falling apart and still show no signs of getting any better.

I have to take back my vent on my sister with regard to changing her phone number and blocking me from her email. Apparently her wireless service has been providing less than stellar results over the last year and service levels have dropped significantly . . . a problem with their system caused me to not be able to get through on both.

Well, my mom has been in the nursing home now for about 2-1/2 months and I feel so awful about it. I can't tell you how many times I've called the crisis and Alz hotlines crying my eyes out with guilt. Every day I recalculate the numbers to see if I can bring her home, but there just isn't enough money to keep her home for long. I could get a 5 day live-in for $2000 a month . . . but how to come up with that $2000 a month is another story. I've been looking for a part-time job hoping to bring in at least $1200 of it, but there has been nothing. If I could then I could keep her home for about 4 years, but no job, no deal. Now that there are 3 ground floor 1 bedroom apartments open it figures that I can't afford the extra help that I need.

There is the "bad" option of using some of my retirement money, but since I have to make the little bit I do have last for about 25-30 years, if I start spending it at the rate of $24,000 a year, it won't last long. There's no telling how much longer my mother will live.

We have enough money to last about 3 years if I again sign up for 20 hours of free time and 148 hours a week locked up with her, but I know I can't do that. I was suffocating after only 3-4 months of it. I did offer this alternative to my sister last week, but she apparently has come around and told me that in spite of how we feel, it's best now to leave her there because with her numerous conditions, she'd probably only end up back in the hospital in a month or so and the back and forth just wasn't worth it for either of us (me and mom). And she's getting used to being there.

Well, going to go for now. Have to make salads for my mom while clothes wash and then back up to do some more work on cleaning out mom's apartment.

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Re: Daily Check in Oct 14, 2015

Post by mbrudnic »

Oh Logics Hugs.

I watched my FIL take care of his Mother and at one point he looked so ragged, I was worried about his health.

Please stop feeling guilty about her being in a nursing home. You visit everyday and make sure she gets good care. This, itself, is a great sacrifice. That is more than a lot of people can and will do. You are doing your best. It is enough!


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Re: Daily Check in Oct 14, 2015

Post by Shelsmiles »

Logics, I'm sorry you feel so badly, but you did everything you could. There comes a point when they simply need more care than we can give. It's not a failure, it's reality. Your mom LOVES YOU. She spent her life loving you and wanting what's best for you. That hasn't changed because her health condition has progressed, friend. Be gentle and kind with yourself, you've done your best and that's all anyone can do.

My day today will be chores and chores and chores. Watering berry bushes, feeding bees and cleaning the bad hive, greenhouse chores (yay!), laundry and housekeeping.

Dentist visit yesterday was miserable. I need $13.000 in dental work that is not covered by insurance. My jaw problem is progressing and without the Dental work it will only get worse. Growl. I've already spent $8,000 on the teeth in endodontocs and crowns etc. but those all failed because my tooth structure is just so brittle. Most of my DDS issues are breaking teeth not decay. So, now it's oral surgery, a bone graft and implants. ;(

Wrestling a preseason tourney this weekend in KC. DS is ready I think but not quite at weight for it. Needs to get himself in gear. I'm excited because I love to watch him wrestle. It's his senior year and I'm not going to miss any of it!

Off to get started. Have a great day, everyone.

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Re: Daily Check in Oct 14, 2015

Post by Jackielou »

So sorry Logics, I hope your decision gets easier to carry. This really is the best one for all concerned.

Good morning fellow frugalites

The sun is shining and I of course slept in a bit, not much, but enough to make me feel like I am behind.

Second day to deliver meals on wheels. Today I am meeting B at the hospital to pick up said meals as she has a stretch class. Using a bit of fuel to get there and back, but I should be able to hold out another day (don't want to spend until tomorrow).

Frugality wise I will be picking off the remaining green tomatoes (while it got cold we have had no frost), the cucumber Hubby saw, the rest of the jalapenos, and then Hubby can get the carrots and potatoes in. I see myself freezing carrots tonight.

I will continue with the sewing and knitting of Christmas gifts (I really had forgotten how long it takes to knit a men's sweater) and fit in some household cleaning this afternoon.

My frugal exercise will be taking place shortly, somehow I don't see sitting at a keyboard and madly clicking keys to declutter the forum as good exercise. Heck my walk is probably not considered good enough, but it will do for me.

Still no heat turned on in the bedroom. I am really hoping we can make it until the end of the month. Seems like electric has gone up (as well as everything else) and we are going to have to go over the budget.

Supper tonight will be the leftovers from the last two suppers. Lots to use up and as I want to wipe down the inside of the fridge very soon this seems like an excellent idea.

Today I am grateful that most of the leaves have disappeared from the trees, not much left to clean up in the yard.

Everybody have a great day. Take care.

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Re: Daily Check in Oct 14, 2015

Post by MackerelCat »

Logics, you have been the best daughter your mom could ask for, and it's the right thing to turn her care over to professionally trained people who can watch after her 'round the clock without you bankrupting yourself or killing yourself with overwork.

Change is hard, especially for very diligent people like yourself, but you are doing the best, most loving thing you can for your mom. You have done nothing to feel guilty about. Sometimes we confuse regret with guilt, and it's normal to feel regret when things don't go the way you want for someone you love so much. But it will work out. Your mom will be safe and cared for, and that's the thing that matters. Take it from someone who has been there with her own mom. {{{{HUGS}}}}

Today at the House of Frugal Hausfrau-ing, I will be doing the domestic trifecta of cleaning-cooking-washing things. The laundry is caught up, but the dogs need a bath. However, it's a bit chilly today for them to be damp for hours, so I will probably just give them a brushing, wipe down and wash their bedding.

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