Gayle's Cancer Updates

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gaylejackson2
Posts: 2745
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2015 1:13 pm
Location: Utah

Re: Gayle's Cancer Updates

Post by gaylejackson2 »

alliesmama4 wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 7:12 pm
Gayle I do not have words to express my sorrow and anger at what you are dealing with. Your husband is so unfair, so uncaring it boggles my mind.. I wish I could do something to make things better for you. The only thing I can do is keep you in my thoughts and prayers to somehow manage to deal with all of what you are going through.

Big but gentle ((hug)). Sending love and prayers. Your friend, Janet
Prayers are wonderful, keep them coming because I feel like I’m drowning in misery.

clemencia2us
Posts: 5073
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:21 am

Re: Gayle's Cancer Updates

Post by clemencia2us »

gaylejackson2 wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 10:47 pm
No dear, no finances of my own courtesy of my dear dead Dad’s Firm Insistence that I Not Keep Any of My Inheritance 10 years ago (but that it be used to buy this house we live in); also no finances due to me not working... my small emergency fund is depleted now too.
My siblings Always say they will help me if necessary, but I do not know if I can depend upon them.
Is your mom still alive?

I hope you can rely on your siblings.

This is so much stress you are going through. Your husband is not nice but what the heck made him that way. Not that it is an excuse.

Stay strong.

Quilter51
Posts: 838
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 6:04 pm

Re: Gayle's Cancer Updates

Post by Quilter51 »

I agree with others. You are a very strong person and not responsible for how your husband or dad were. Can you open an account entirely on your own even if it is only twenty five dollars to begin with? I know times are tough right now, and that also affects how we behave. But every little bit you can squirrel away for yourself when you can is a good idea.

Again, remember his behavior is his issue sweetie. not yours.

gaylejackson2
Posts: 2745
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2015 1:13 pm
Location: Utah

Re: Gayle's Cancer Updates

Post by gaylejackson2 »

clemencia2us wrote:
Fri Mar 27, 2020 11:12 pm
Is your mom still alive?

I hope you can rely on your siblings.

This is so much stress you are going through. Your husband is not nice but what the heck made him that way. Not that it is an excuse.

Stay strong.
My parents are both dead, Mom died Nov 2004, and Dad died Oct 2014.

I do not know if I can really rely on my siblings to help me out financially if I really actually need it.

I don't know why he is the way he is, other than he is VERY unhappy.

gaylejackson2
Posts: 2745
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2015 1:13 pm
Location: Utah

Re: Gayle's Cancer Updates

Post by gaylejackson2 »

Quilter51 wrote:
Sat Mar 28, 2020 12:27 am
I agree with others. You are a very strong person and not responsible for how your husband or dad were. Can you open an account entirely on your own even if it is only twenty five dollars to begin with? I know times are tough right now, and that also affects how we behave. But every little bit you can squirrel away for yourself when you can is a good idea.

Again, remember his behavior is his issue sweetie. not yours.
I have been thinking about that. I will ponder on it more this coming week.

floridacatlover
Posts: 3569
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 7:21 am

Re: Gayle's Cancer Updates

Post by floridacatlover »

Quilter51 wrote:
Sat Mar 28, 2020 12:27 am
I agree with others. You are a very strong person and not responsible for how your husband or dad were. Can you open an account entirely on your own even if it is only twenty five dollars to begin with? I know times are tough right now, and that also affects how we behave. But every little bit you can squirrel away for yourself when you can is a good idea.

Again, remember his behavior is his issue sweetie. not yours.
I agree with Quilter. Open an account on your own. I hope that your cancer doctor will sign for another year’s extension on your student loans but if not, the new stimulus bill includes a halt until September on payments for student loans held by the federal government. It doesn’t sound like this will include private student loans.

You should get $4900 from the stimulus bill within three weeks if the IRS has your bank account information (2 adults, 5 children 16 and under). I’m not sure of your oldest son’s age but I don’t think he is older than 16.

Try to save as much of this stimulus as you can. You mentioned needing new shoes. Hold off if possible. Perhaps stop the childrens’ piano lessons for awhile. Try to save at least some of this for an account of your own. Do you have only one checking account that you and your husband share? I know this is an uphill battle but in my mind instead of him giving you an allowance, the money should all go into a household account and HE should be the one to get an allowance for limited items, not you.

Gayle, I would suggest seeing a credit counselor. This might sound extreme but bankruptcy might be the best answer to give you a clean slate.

As others have said, I’d like to give him a slap across his mouth and a kick in the rear. He is very, very selfish.

(((Hugs to you.)))

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