Daily Check In November 4, 2019

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gaylejackson2
Posts: 2057
Joined: Tue Sep 08, 2015 1:13 pm
Location: Utah

Re: Daily Check In November 4, 2019

Post by gaylejackson2 » Mon Nov 04, 2019 4:08 pm

Update:

I have made 2 trips to basement to carefully put away canning equipment.

I have decided 3 trips up & down the stairs equal one walk to the corner outside; have been up & down 5x now because of laundry (wishing now as I have done so many other times that we'd NOT bought a house with laundry at bottom of stairs).

Have taken 2 outside walks-- gave myself the goal of 5 walks (including stairs) total today, will take another in a couple of hours.
Last edited by gaylejackson2 on Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:24 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Gale53150
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:45 pm

Re: Daily Check In November 4, 2019

Post by Gale53150 » Mon Nov 04, 2019 4:30 pm

Gayle, I don't post often but following your journey. My daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer a week after you.
Thank you for your candid updates. It is helping me to know the next step. It is all so similar to what you are experiencing.. she has had her surgery and is recuperating.

You have every right to be angry and hurt. I wonder what church leaders are thinking? They should be supportive and have an overflow of empathy. You are dealing with so much.
My daughter lives in another state. I am so thankful for the village that has banded together for her support. I am going to visit her for only a few days as I have a disabled husband to care for at this time. Her village people are strong and pray a lot. By village people I mean her faithful wonderful friends.
I do hope you receive more help and the church people don't even try to compare the hell you are going through. You are a phenomenal person.
Take care.

rinty
Posts: 1401
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 3:54 am

Re: Daily Check In November 4, 2019

Post by rinty » Mon Nov 04, 2019 5:31 pm

gaylejackson2 wrote:
Mon Nov 04, 2019 4:08 pm
Update:

I have made 2 trips to basement to carefully put away canning equipment (the heaviest went down without it's box, so i boxed & shelved it); no one else seems capable of putting away these 3 items.

I have decided 3 trips up & down the stairs equal one walk to the corner outside; have been up & down 5x now because of laundry (wishing now as I have done so many other times that we'd NOT bought a house with laundry at bottom of stairs).

Have taken 2 outside walks-- gave myself the goal of 5 walks (including stairs) total today, will take another in a couple of hours.

RS Church ladies have come & gone (she brought another with her). Part of walking was to try to calm down a bit, but I'm going to vent then maybe I'll cry. All emphasis is my own, and I'm just overdue for another round of grief & anger, but I feel like she is trying to get out of helping me as we're getting closer to holidays.
So we chatted for awhile, then RS Pres said that they would like to bring us meals on the day of my infusion, through the end of the week (first she'd said "We'd like to bring you some meals for a week after you have your infusions." "Oh thank you," says I, "because dh is working evenings & Saturdays, and older boys are in wrestling practice or working until 7-8pm each night, and I'm not yet released to do anything the involves stirring, lifting, pouring, chopping, etc.") ending Saturday night. THAT'S WEDNESDAY THROUGH SATURDAY this week. She said that surely "you & your children can figure something out for the rest of the time." Oh yes dear, let me just cobble something together to feed us, in all of my not able to stand or sit upright times unless I want to feel severe breast-area pains or have my belly swell--yes just watch me go ruin myself because YOU THINK I CAN!!!!
Then she says, "Since you can do some things, this is your last week for us getting rides for your girls home from school." I just looked at her, and said "Okay but I'm not released to drive yet. It's one of those repetitive motions using the upper body." She gave me the most blank look, then tells me I can find my own rides for my girls until I can drive again. Oh she also said that I need to ask for Physical Therapy to help me be able to drive... REALLY????!!!!!
Next she asked if the Dr had given me any indication of what the nausea will be like.I told her they had said that the nausea would be like the worst case of morning sickness ever, and that I should expect to feel ill most of the time, but that walking around and exercising helps (exact quote from Dr W's nurse "Don't give up that exercise regimen, keep going on it because It will help. Even lifting weights will help you."). Her reply was "I can't imagine it will be THAT BAD. My daughter-in-law's sister is going through Chemo just like you, and she said that she feels queasy for a few days then she's fine, so we probably won't get you any helpers since you'll be home alone anyhow, and you look really good so you'll probably be just fine." The other lady (RS Secretary) then says, "Oh you should just stay home from church if you're feeling nauseated. Walking around would just distract other people from the reason we're all at church."
On then RSPres wanted to talk about the hair loss-- her daughter-in-law's sister didn't lose hers, so I shouldn't do like my email said, and cut mine off. "I think it would be a big mistake." Well maybe it would be for her, as she has really long lovely curly black hair, but I'm not HER!!

Do you know??!! I don't know when all of the willingness to help me turned into this ______, this lack thereof, but I'm starting to feel a bit bitter, and yes even angry.
Last week at the Halloween dinner, she asked me to help bring meals for another lady in our church who is having back surgery tomorrow, and her recovery time is also 6-8 weeks. I looked at her then too, told her I couldn't as I haven't been released to do anything like that. Another blank look from her. "Well you look so good." My reply, "Just because I LOOK GOOD doesn't mean I FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME, because I will will pay dearly tomorrow for all of this unsupported standing I'm doing tonight because I wanted out of my house, and to SEE people."
**I WILL take a meal or two to my friend, in a few weeks, with my family's help in making it, after the church ladies have started to peter out on helping her too.

ARGH!!! I Just feel SOOO ANGRY!!!!! And hurt!!! Why do people say they are going to Help then they back off because you LOOK SOO GOOD!!! (Maybe I need to go find leftover Halloween white makeup and wear some whenever anyone comes over, if I LOOK SICK maybe they will want to help again.)
Gayle, I hope you see other Gales supportive post to you, cos you are phenomenal.

DH says he is staggered and that you should send a copy of what you just posted to your stake president, you do not need this hassle. I am shocked at these women and their total lack of empathy. ((((hugs )))

colonialgirl
Posts: 1521
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 2:01 am
Location: Central Illinois

Re: Daily Check In November 4, 2019

Post by colonialgirl » Mon Nov 04, 2019 5:52 pm

Rinty is right Gayle. Contact someone higher up and issue a complaint. One of the things I have greatly admired about the Mormon faith is the expectation that those in need would be helped by the entire community. I don't know anything really about your religion - but this is what I have always been told - that Mormons take care of their own.

Well if this is their idea of helping a fellow congregate, it is unkind and inadequate. It sounds to me like this woman has her own agenda regarding you for whatever reason.

Please complain - the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

alliesmama4
Posts: 4838
Joined: Sun Aug 30, 2015 10:10 pm
Location: Southern IL

Re: Daily Check In November 4, 2019

Post by alliesmama4 » Mon Nov 04, 2019 6:23 pm

gaylejackson2 wrote:
Mon Nov 04, 2019 4:08 pm
Update:

I have made 2 trips to basement to carefully put away canning equipment (the heaviest went down without it's box, so i boxed & shelved it); no one else seems capable of putting away these 3 items.

I have decided 3 trips up & down the stairs equal one walk to the corner outside; have been up & down 5x now because of laundry (wishing now as I have done so many other times that we'd NOT bought a house with laundry at bottom of stairs).

Have taken 2 outside walks-- gave myself the goal of 5 walks (including stairs) total today, will take another in a couple of hours.

RS Church ladies have come & gone (she brought another with her). Part of walking was to try to calm down a bit, but I'm going to vent then maybe I'll cry. All emphasis is my own, and I'm just overdue for another round of grief & anger, but I feel like she is trying to get out of helping me as we're getting closer to holidays.
So we chatted for awhile, then RS Pres said that they would like to bring us meals on the day of my infusion, through the end of the week (first she'd said "We'd like to bring you some meals for a week after you have your infusions." "Oh thank you," says I, "because dh is working evenings & Saturdays, and older boys are in wrestling practice or working until 7-8pm each night, and I'm not yet released to do anything the involves stirring, lifting, pouring, chopping, etc.") ending Saturday night. THAT'S WEDNESDAY THROUGH SATURDAY this week. She said that surely "you & your children can figure something out for the rest of the time." Oh yes dear, let me just cobble something together to feed us, in all of my not able to stand or sit upright times unless I want to feel severe breast-area pains or have my belly swell--yes just watch me go ruin myself because YOU THINK I CAN!!!!
Then she says, "Since you can do some things, this is your last week for us getting rides for your girls home from school." I just looked at her, and said "Okay but I'm not released to drive yet. It's one of those repetitive motions using the upper body." She gave me the most blank look, then tells me I can find my own rides for my girls until I can drive again. Oh she also said that I need to ask for Physical Therapy to help me be able to drive... REALLY????!!!!!
Next she asked if the Dr had given me any indication of what the nausea will be like.I told her they had said that the nausea would be like the worst case of morning sickness ever, and that I should expect to feel ill most of the time, but that walking around and exercising helps (exact quote from Dr W's nurse "Don't give up that exercise regimen, keep going on it because It will help. Even lifting weights will help you."). Her reply was "I can't imagine it will be THAT BAD. My daughter-in-law's sister is going through Chemo just like you, and she said that she feels queasy for a few days then she's fine, so we probably won't get you any helpers since you'll be home alone anyhow, and you look really good so you'll probably be just fine." The other lady (RS Secretary) then says, "Oh you should just stay home from church if you're feeling nauseated. Walking around would just distract other people from the reason we're all at church."
On then RSPres wanted to talk about the hair loss-- her daughter-in-law's sister didn't lose hers, so I shouldn't do like my email said, and cut mine off. "I think it would be a big mistake." Well maybe it would be for her, as she has really long lovely curly black hair, but I'm not HER!!

Do you know??!! I don't know when all of the willingness to help me turned into this ______, this lack thereof, but I'm starting to feel a bit bitter, and yes even angry.
Last week at the Halloween dinner, she asked me to help bring meals for another lady in our church who is having back surgery tomorrow, and her recovery time is also 6-8 weeks. I looked at her then too, told her I couldn't as I haven't been released to do anything like that. Another blank look from her. "Well you look so good." My reply, "Just because I LOOK GOOD doesn't mean I FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME, because I will will pay dearly tomorrow for all of this unsupported standing I'm doing tonight because I wanted out of my house, and to SEE people."
**I WILL take a meal or two to my friend, in a few weeks, with my family's help in making it, after the church ladies have started to peter out on helping her too.

ARGH!!! I Just feel SOOO ANGRY!!!!! And hurt!!! Why do people say they are going to Help then they back off because you LOOK SOO GOOD!!! (Maybe I need to go find leftover Halloween white makeup and wear some whenever anyone comes over, if I LOOK SICK maybe they will want to help again.)
Gayle I am so sorry to hear how you are being treated by this woman. I just cannot understand her thinking in regard to your family's need. I will pray for you and for this silly woman to get some insight in to a real need. Please do go over her head and complain. Some people like power and control and she may like to be that type of person. The fact that she asked you to help make meals for someone else shows she does not have a clue as to what you are going through. ((hug)) and prayers for you and your family.
Janet Alliesmama

HappyDaze
Posts: 68
Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2019 11:11 am

Re: Daily Check In November 4, 2019

Post by HappyDaze » Mon Nov 04, 2019 6:42 pm

My check in went poof - ugh! It's a beautiful fall night - crisp and clear. Busy day. Home from work, fed outside cats, walked dogs and got straight to the library. Will have a late supper when I get home.

The weekend was nice. I got outside work done on Saturday - winterized the cats' shelter, etc. Did some house cleaning as well. Made two soups on Sunday - potato & leek and vegetable.

Did a grocery shop Sunday - total was $111.57 before store card savings and coupons. I paid $45.62. I'll take that!!

Keeping busy and doing well. Thinking of you all - but it's hard to stay in touch until I have internet at home - but debt must be paid first. :-)

Take care friends. GAYLE - sending you love.

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