Death notices, FB, the new realty

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Re: Death notices, FB, the new realty

Post by ohjodi »

gaylejackson2 wrote:
Sun Jul 05, 2020 7:50 pm
When my Dad died, I was at ds#1’s parent teacher conference day. My friend was one of his teachers, and when I told her what going on, she told me she would gather all his papers from his other teachers, and for me to go home. I & my sisters met at the mortuary with our step-Mom the next morning, then my sisters left and I spent 4 days with my StepMom. I contacted all the rest ofDad’s siblings or their spouses, I contacted all of my Mom’s remaining siblings or their spouses, and I helped my stepMom contact all of their missionary friends. Then after I came home, I did put a death announcement on Facebook, because my second cousins would see it, and tell their parents.

I also got to write Dad’s obituary, choose which newspapers it went in, then I wrote the eulogy (and read it at his funeral), arranged his funeral program & wrote it up, along with the lists of “survived by” and “preceded in death by” family members.

My sisters claimed they had done “So Much” with Mommy’s funeral, when in reality Dad did most of the work, and my sisters & the youngest of my 5 older brothers just read Mom’s eulogy—which they had divided in thirds, added their own comments, which is how the church went dead-silent after oldest sis announced, “So when we found out that Mom was having Another Baby, well we were mad. So we told Mom & Dad that our family was big enough, and we didn't need Any More Babies!” ~Long dramatic pause, while those three stood at the microphone nodding their heads and looking around with smug smiles~ Then brother continued with, “Well we got another sister, which was okay, Except that she Had So Many medical problems, all those surgeries, special casts, walking braces & other stuff that took all of Mom & Dad’s extra extra money for years, so we didn't ever get to do much fun stuff except church stuff or family reunions, for Years.” ~More gasps from the crowd, another long dramatic pause, more bobbing of their heads & looking around. (By this time, I was steaming mad and Dh was so furious that his face was red, as was my other 4 brothers, with one brother holding onto another brother's arm to keep him seated. I was also standing against the wall, holding my 3 month old baby, and just watching those smug faces & bobbly heads.) 2ndDbro then passed those three a note, to End Their rambling about Themselves & their wants/feelings, to get back to Mommy, and get finished Now!!~~Funny, not funny, thing: later at the cemetery, I overheard sis#3 complain to a 2nd cousin & her Mom, “We still had a whole page to read, then Chris covered the mic and said we needed to read the last little bit & be done, as we were taking to much time.” To which the cousin’s Mom replied, “Oh you all said Way Too Much! This day was to have been all about Your Mom, but you three took your chance to dig at your younger sister, and let her (and everyone else) know just exactly how mean your three really are!”

Sorry for my rambling post. For some reason, as I started writing, it triggered that nearly 16 year old memory, which I to think about every December 1st, but I think chemo had me in such a fog last December that I didn't.
I Did forgive them finally, but it took me several years, and LOTS of praying to do it. Here’s the weird thing, I think ALL of that vitriol above was from sis#1 who was 14 when I was born, because bro#5 was 5yo, and sis#3 was 2yo.
OMG, Gayle, that is so horrible! What is wrong with people?! You've had so many difficult people in your life. Yet you remain kind and thoughtful. Love to you.

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Re: Death notices, FB, the new realty

Post by SandiSAHM »

DH and I, and our kids, aren't on FB. So I guess when I die, which Lord willing won't be for a few decades yet (whatever the follow-up to fb is, I don't plan on being on that, either) no one will know :lol:.

Which is fine, if I didn't talk to someone face to face or on at minimum on the phone a few times a year, my passing probably won't mean anything to them anyway.

DH knows I don't want a service or flowers or anything. Just cremate me and put my ashes in one of those maple tree things, if DD is willing to play violin while the guys sing "Great Is Thy Faithfulness," around the sapling once, that's that.

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Re: Death notices, FB, the new realty

Post by clemencia2us »

you are a much nicer person than me Gayle.

i would never speak to them again! :shock:

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Re: Death notices, FB, the new realty

Post by Dgflorida »

I hope writing the pain helped removing it, Gayle.

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Re: Death notices, FB, the new realty

Post by gaylejackson2 »

ohjodi wrote:
Sun Jul 05, 2020 8:26 pm
OMG, Gayle, that is so horrible! What is wrong with people?! You've had so many difficult people in your life. Yet you remain kind and thoughtful. Love to you.
Thank you Jodi!

I think you're pretty awesome too.

In recent years, dbro#5 has been picking at me and most of the time it rolls off my back. However since I’ve been battling cancer, my “give a damn” is broken and I’ve started giving back comments when I’ve been getting them from him and a certain cousin.

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