How much do your family / friends know about your $

This is the front porch of our forum. Pull up a chair, and talk about whatever's on your mind.
SandiSAHM
Posts: 966
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:46 am
Location: Oklahoma

How much do your family / friends know about your $

Post by SandiSAHM » Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:24 pm

A family member is visiting. The questions regarding income and expenditures are becoming increasingly difficult to politely dodge - I'm hoping the last response, "THAT'S a really personal question!" will put an end to it, but...

How much do your family members know about your financial situation?

Friends?

Any people that you flatly won't tell ANYthing because they'll decide they need a loan?

No one in either of our families know anything. Some because they are the family social media "town criers" and some because we are not the bank, loans are not made here. Monetary gifts can be, but they're dependent on the person and the situation.

Some of my friends know a little only because I either once worked with them or for them and they have a good idea of the "going rate" for what I do. A particularly well-off friend introduced us to our accountant, and occasionally mentions a specific investment about which he feels strongly. But as a group, we rarely talk $, and never about someone else behind their back.

To me $ is a personal thing. I'll tell a friend I went back to work, but they won't ask how much I'm being paid and I don't offer the information. When I buy something, unless it's an outrageous deal and I know someone else might benefit, what I spend is my business.

I think even if family member and I were closer and I could trust her to keep it to herself... there's no real reason to discuss $. Neither of us is in need of anything.

User avatar
MackerelCat
Posts: 1891
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:44 pm

Re: How much do your family / friends know about your $

Post by MackerelCat » Mon Jun 10, 2019 5:03 pm

Nosy people should not be surprised if they get told to back off. I always tell people that money, sex, religion and politics are not open subjects with me. So I talk about books and dogs!

I think because DH and I are so frugal, people may think we make less than we do, and I am okay with that. We aren't stingy, just careful with our money.
Mackie

Quilter51
Posts: 431
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 6:04 pm

Re: How much do your family / friends know about your $

Post by Quilter51 » Mon Jun 10, 2019 7:30 pm

My immediate family (a couple siblings and my kids) know exactly how I make in terms of social security and pension. Since I blog about frugality and have more than one article on "Retirement on $35,000 more or less" a ton of blog readers do as well. I'm fine with that. Because I write a blog on frugal retirement and if I didn't include real numbers I wouldnt be authentic.

As for what I spend? Again, No one's business as such, but since I write a frugal blog and use real examples, my readrs (and friends) know for example, that I bought a large Dana Buchman tote purse for forty dollars the other day instead of sixty dollars.

So It doesnt bother me as such, but if people were in my home, asking those questions or friends her were visiting I would consider a different angle to it for sure. I ask myself it would bother me if my numbers were different, but my husband was a GS13 in the Federal government. While there are higher and lower steps, the spectrum in general tells you how much he made, how much housing allowance you got and so on and so forth.

But again, if someone was visiting in my house and asked me how much blankety blank cost or so on and so forth I would look at it differently I am sure.

clemencia2us
Posts: 3751
Joined: Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:21 am

Re: How much do your family / friends know about your $

Post by clemencia2us » Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:58 pm

People around here think we are rich!

Hello - do you see that i do not color my hair, get my nails done or drive a new car? :lol:

User avatar
Jackielou
Posts: 5397
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 7:51 pm

Re: How much do your family / friends know about your $

Post by Jackielou » Tue Jun 11, 2019 8:30 am

Pretty sure most of our families think we are the poor relations. Friends, know absolutely nothing about our finances. They could probably make a better guess than our families though.

Really it is none of their business what we spend, how we spend, what we have in the bank, or what we made before retiring. We keep it that way.

Dgflorida
Posts: 2998
Joined: Wed Oct 07, 2015 8:10 pm

Re: How much do your family / friends know about your $

Post by Dgflorida » Tue Jun 11, 2019 9:46 am

I agree with you all. It is no one's business. However, I did indicate that we got a small inheritance which is why we could afford a driveway, roof, paint and new windows. I try to say that is all there is. Actually, it isn't, but again no one's business.

There certainly is the assumption that we are the poor members of the family. We live in a small house. Don't have a new car. Don't travel much. You know, that long list of things that frugal people don't do.

It is frustrating to the brokerage account representative/salesman. On his last call, he said several times, "If we managed your account, you could be making more money." To which we replied, "but we don't need more money." We live pretty much on social security and only dip into savings for the big stuff. Debt is like a cancer eating your financial freedom. Glad we don't have any. I love the frugal lifestyle.

Post Reply